To be 5 again...and no...it's not because I have wished I was less wrinkly...(well maybe)...or because I have wished I didn't have to dye my hair for the fear of really seeing what's under...no...It's because I have wished to feel free...free of all the worries that have been building since I actually was 5...I can remember being a wee one and thinking about my weight...I have struggled in my silly little head since before I really can remember...growing up in a family of very skinny kiddos...and me being average...oh, and might I add...average with red hair and freckles...um, not really the first pick of many....well not unless you were over 70...(this is how you quickly become your grandparents favorite)....but when average isn't the normal in your little world..something must be wrong...right?
I know this kinda sounds sad...and for the record...and 30 years later...I am grateful God choose to give me red hair :)...but my reasoning for letting you in a little deeper...is to tell you that this last week has seemed a little easier...I can't really put my finger on what has changed sooo much...but I can tell you this...my silly little head is feeling a little lighter...mentally that is :) I think between having a healthy agenda, the spiritual text, (and trying not to float away from all the water)...it has given me new...healthy things to worry about :)
well now that I have just spilled the beans...oh...and I am really hoping you weren't coming here for your uplifting text...lol...I am closing for the night...can't wait to curl up in my snuggies and read my Dr. Oz book.
Sweet dreams sweet friends :)
This Saturday’s Recipes by The Pioneer Woman
3 years ago
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2 comments:
Love you sis!
Thank you so much for getting me started with all this. I mean you really did do everything for me. I appreciate you soooo much. This week has been great.
I have always thought you were beautiful, inside and out. Ok, I may have not always thought that about you on the inside, remember back when we could even stand to be around each other for a minute....and now we talk daily...ok, like 4 times a day. But I will say I have always looked up to you and still do.
I am so happy that as women we have become such great friends.
I love you dearly! You are a great big sis to have.
Hmmm....my chapter tonight started with, "From Panic to Peace," The Burden of Fear. I loved this verse quoted in the chapter, "Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." (Heb 12:1-2). I know how much this chapter would speak to you Jen. It's funny how the next chapter talked to me, "Silent Nights and Solitary Days," The Burden of Loneliness. I think that's harder for me to share about, but know we have all at one time probably felt lonely in a crowded room!
Thank you Jen for sharing your heart...I am glad I have you all to do this with too...I never thought any of you would! I admit I have really struggled the last two days, but am determined to get back on the wagon. It's there in my mind, a constant reminder and I want to take better care of myself. Tomorrow is a new week and new start -- good luck everyone!
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